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Inner Pondering
Welcome to Inner Pondering, a sacred space for the soul on its journey home. This podcast is for the quiet seekers walking through the fire of personal transformation—those who feel the pull toward a spiritual awakening, to heal emotionally, and to remember who they truly are.
Each episode is a gentle yet honest conversation on navigating the "dark nights" of the soul, releasing what no longer serves, and returning to your inner truth. Through mindfulness, personal reflections, and soulful reminders, Nikki invites you to slow down, breathe, and reconnect with the wisdom already inside you.
This isn’t about becoming someone new—it’s about the "unbecoming" of everything you’re not. It is a journey of spiritual growth and emotional healing, not by fixing your wounded parts, but by remembering the part of you that is already whole.
When you finally listen to the quiet voice within… that’s when the real inner awakening begins.
Episodes
112 episodes
Nothing real needs your control to stay (The Truth about Letting Go)
The exhaustion of trying to "get it right" on the spiritual path is often the final hurdle before true awakening. For years, I lived under the illusion of "Conditional Peace"—believing that if I could just manage my emotions, perfect my ...
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17:07
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Choosing yourself when the world wants someone else
"As soon as I stopped caring about how people see me, something shifted. I had to choose myself. I had to come home to myself."There is a paradoxical freedom in what some call "spiritual indifference." It isn't a coldness or a lac...
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12:27
Why Your Awakening Makes You 'Un-Needy' (and How it Changes Love)
"The more you need love, the more it slips away—not because you aren't worthy, but because 'need' is the frequency of absence."One of the most challenging aspects of a spiritual awakening is the total restructuring of our relation...
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16:35
When the teachings become the noise (Why I stopped 'consuming' presence)
"I realized that all my reading and watching was actually keeping me from the one thing I was looking for: being here."We live in an age where "Presence" is a click away, but sometimes the more we consume, the more we feel like ...
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19:12
Why forgiveness feels like self-betrayal sometimes
"If your body resists forgiving, it isn't because you are 'un-spiritual'—it’s because your soul is refusing to participate in self-betrayal."We have been taught that forgiveness is a performance of the "bigger person," a way to ...
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23:11
Whose Life are You Living? (The Truth About Why We Feel Stuck)
"Have you ever looked at your life and wondered... did I actually choose this? Or was I just following a script I didn't write?"Most of the decisions we think we’re making—from the career we chase to the way we react in an argum...
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20:47
Why Your Energy Feels Heavy Before You Wake Up
Have you ever wondered why your energy feels heavy, even when you haven’t done anything wrong? Before awakening, most of us carry inherited patterns, beliefs, and generational trauma without even realizing it. This energy becomes part of our id...
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17:24
Why Love Felt Like Longing Until I Awakened
If you’re healing from a version of love that cost you your peace — this message is for you.Many of us learned to chase love outside of ourselves before we ever learned to recognize the love already within. We confused attachment with c...
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6:56
How to Release the Energy of Injustice from Your Body & Spirit
Are you carrying the invisible weight of injustice in your body and spirit? In this episode, How to Release the Energy of Injustice from Your Body & Spirit, I explore powerful insights and healing practices to help you let go of emotional b...
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18:17
You Can’t Heal Where the Pain Still Lives | Spiritual Awakening & Rebirth
In this reflection, we dive into why true transformation isn’t about fixing or improving yourself — it’s about remembering who you were before the pain. When the ego begins to dissolve and old identities fall away, what remains is something pur...
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16:46
Avoiding Toxic Energy Isn't Enough (You Can't Always Avoid It)
In this episode of Inner Pondering, we explore why simply avoiding toxic people isn’t enough — and how awareness, not distance, is what truly frees your energy. You’ll learn how healing changes your frequency, how subtle manipulati...
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17:11
Your Body Knows the Truth — Even When You Don’t
Have you ever felt something in your body you couldn’t explain? That heaviness out of nowhere. The sudden fatigue. The same tightness that shows up every time you’re around certain people.It’s easy to think it’s just stress, or ...
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21:40
Stop chasing what's already yours (Manifesting from Wholeness, not Lack)
"We’re told to visualize, script, and want it more... but what if the very act of 'wanting' is what's keeping it away?"There is a hidden exhaustion in the manifestation world. We spend so much energy trying to "create" a better ...
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11:35
The Most Dangerous Thing About the Spiritual Path
Many of us are sold the idea that spiritual healing comes from something outside of ourselves—rituals, symbols, or someone else’s method. But the most dangerous illusion on the spiritual path is believing you are not already whole.In thi...
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20:41
I stopped protecting my energy (and found actual peace)
"We’re told to shield ourselves, block others, and stay guarded... but what if the real power isn't in the walls you build, but in the realization that you don't need them?"We’ve all been taught that we need to "protect our energy...
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15:19
Signs You’re Outgrowing People on Your Spiritual Path | How to Let Go with Grace
You can feel it — something’s shifted. You’re changing, but the people around you no longer feel aligned. This episode dives deep into the subtle yet powerful signs that you’re outgrowing people on your spiritual path.We’ll explor...
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15:44
I walked away from my old life (The honest truth about awakening)
"I walked away—quietly and truthfully—from the life I built to fit everyone else. It wasn't a loud exit, but it was the most honest thing I've ever done."There is a specific kind of exhaustion that comes with spiritual awakening. ...
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17:48
The Hidden Truth About People Pleasing | Why It Keeps You From Being Honest With Yourself
People pleasing might look like kindness on the surface — but beneath it is fear, self-abandonment, and emotional exhaustion. In this reflection, I share my spiritual awakening journey and what happens when you finally stop people pleasing....
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14:47
Awakening Through Chaos: War Is Just a Mirror, Peace Starts Within
In a world overwhelmed by war, division, and constant noise, many souls are being called inward. This episode is for those navigating a spiritual awakening during uncertain times, feeling anxious, disconnected, or emotionally drained. Yo...
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7:51
What Really Happens When You Start Healing Spiritually and Emotionally
In this episode of Inner Pondering, we explore the hidden side of healing—the part no one prepares you for. This is where the life you built to survive begins to unravel… and you slowly return to your true self.This i...
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10:06
Avoidance Feels Safe, But It’s a Cage | Emotional Numbing
“Avoidance isn’t laziness—it’s unspoken grief. And the longer we run, the further we drift from our true self.”In this episode of Inner Pondering, we explore the quiet ways emotional avoidance shapes our lives—how we scro...
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8:16
The REAL REASON you keep giving your heart to the wrong people
Experiencing **rejection** can be incredibly painful, especially when it feels like your efforts are unappreciated. This difficult experience can actually spark a powerful **spiritual awakening**, leading to deeper **self love** and **soul grow...
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9:11
Signs You're Awakening Spiritually
Have you felt disconnected, more emotional, or suddenly aware of patterns that no longer serve you? You might be in the middle of a spiritual awakening — and no, you're not going crazy.In this episode, we break down the real s...
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10:07