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Inner Pondering
Welcome to Inner Pondering, a sacred space for the soul on its journey home.
This podcast is for anyone walking through the fire of transformation—those who feel the pull to awaken, to heal deeply, and to remember who they truly are.
Each episode is a gentle yet honest conversation on navigating the dark nights, releasing what no longer serves, ready to stop running, and returning to your inner truth. With grounded insights, personal reflections, and soulful reminders, Nikki invites you to slow down, breathe, and reconnect with the wisdom already inside you.
This isn’t about becoming someone new—it’s about unbecoming everything you’re not, and healing emotionally and spiritually. Not by fixing the wounded parts of you, but by remembering what is already whole within.
Because when you finally listen to the quiet voice within… that’s when the real awakening begins.
Inner Pondering
Forgiveness Isn’t What You Think It Is: Why It Feels So Hard
If forgiveness feels impossibly hard for you, there’s a good reason — and it’s probably not because you’re “too sensitive” or “not spiritual enough.”
In this video, I talk about why forgiveness feels so hard, and how a lot of what we’ve been taught about it quietly works against our own heart. Most of us learned that forgiveness means forgetting, minimizing what happened, or rushing ourselves into being “over it” before we’re actually ready.
Here, I offer a different way of seeing forgiveness — as a slow, honest form of
emotional healing
that starts inside of you, not a performance for other people.
What we’ll explore:
• Why forgiveness isn’t about pretending it didn’t hurt
• How “forgive and forget” can deepen self‑betrayal
• The quiet pressure to be the “bigger person” or more spiritual
• Why your body resists forgiving before it feels safe
• The link between forgiveness, anger, and grief
• A gentler way to approach self‑forgiveness and inner healing
This isn’t advice to stay in harmful situations or to minimize what happened to you. It’s an invitation to stop using forgiveness as a weapon against yourself, and to begin seeing it as a different kind of
emotional healing
— one that honors your timing, your boundaries, and your truth.
If you’ve ever wondered:
• “Why is it so hard to forgive someone who hurt me?”
• “I want to forgive, but my body won’t let me — what’s wrong with me?”
• “How do I practice forgiveness without spiritual bypassing?”
— you’re not alone. My hope is that this gives you language for what you’ve been feeling, and a softer path forward.
Thank you for listening! You are the one I come to meet.
Please like and subscribe!
My youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPJxl14CDr8T3XABTWWI_iQ